Saturday, December 26, 2009

Merry Christmas!

Merry, Merry Christmas! The blessings have been great, in so many ways! I hope you felt the love of our Savior at this time! I know we did!

Love to you all!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Why so long, I don't know!

Feeling a little bit melancholy, but don't know if it is the season of the year when your mind is constantly on family or that it's cold or what! But, I was asked the question on one of my comments on this blog if I was a convert to the church or born into the church and if I was a convert how did it come about? So I'd thought I would reflect on that question and share my conversion story here.

Born to a mother who was very religious, believed in God, spoke to Him quite regularly with me in her lap and who taught us all very valuable values and virtues, we went to many different churches growing up. Methodist, Episcopalian and Baptist. However, I went to a Baptist Parochial school from kindergarten to 7th grade in Los Angeles. Then moving to San Diego (La Jolla) in my 7th grade year, I now found myself in public school. Which I might add, was quite an adjustment.

My father was born to Southern Methodist missionaries. My grandparents lived in Soochow China for 30 years having all 9 of their children there. Grandfather was also a surgeon and spent many years serving the Chinese people in a humanitarian capacity, as did Grandmother.

We, as children, had a very religious background, with parents who were always just trying to do the right thing and teaching us to do the same.

I knew as a youngster I was being watched over, because of several very special experiences, which I will not share. However, I knew I had something I was to do. As I gained knowledge of the plan of the Lords, I looked back to see that was a very real experience and that the veil is thinner than we know.

I was the third child of six children and I had a older sister, that at 18 she did not want to live the rules in our home. I was around 11/12 years of age so I didn't quite understand that, and being the type of child I was, a little more compliant, I wished she didn't do that. However, she left and went to live with her girlfriend who just happened to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I know she was gone for some time, of which I am not sure, but I do remember my father lying on the bed and shedding many tears during this time.

She did return home, and when she did, she had been baptized into the Church by missionaries. She told my mother about them and mother was very interested in it. So, mom asked who would be interested in hearing what they had to say and it was myself and my younger brother and mother. And that was all. My older brother and father were not, and the twins were too young.

I remember these Elder's teaching us the discussions, but to tell you the truth, I didn't listen very well. But I do remember Mother asking my brother and I if we wanted to be baptized, she was going to be so if we wanted to, we could as well. She gave us the choice. We both chose to do it. To tell you the truth, I did not have a testimony, not a real one anyway. I felt I joined because I trusted my mother's good judgement AND it felt really good. It really wasn't until many many years later that I gained a true testimony. About 1986. SO I had been a member about 20 years or so, and had been just trying to get through my day to day life. I prayed, I read the Book of Mormon, went to church, I tried to live a good life, but I never really was seeking the confirmation. But something happened in me. I can't put my finger on it, other than I made a decision.

This was the time, I hungered and thirsted after the gospel. I couldn't get enough, I went to Institute and had a million questions that I needed answered. I got answers and I felt the Spirit witness these things over and over again. I would bring them home and teach them to my family, I was so enthusiastic!! I loved THE GOSPEL!! I was finally coming to the Lord!

Now, honestly, I do struggle every day with some things, like discouragement or hurt or what have you. BUT, I have come to understand the Savior better, His love for me, and His desire to have me come follow Him. I have come to realize the frailty of human kind and the stupid mistakes we all make. That we need HIM, we all need A Savior!!

I have often reflected on the fact that my religious background really helped prepare me for the fullness of His gospel, that it helped me recognize it even before I realized it. I really have come to know that my footsteps have been guided all along and I am so grateful for it. Not just for me but for my children and my posterity.

Thank you for the question, I hope I answered it, if not, let me know!!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

To cosign or not to cosign that is the question!

This was found in LDS Living this morning! They always have a question and answer section with Dave Ramsey!!! Here is one very critical question that may come up in your life, it has in ours!

Don't Jeopardize Your Marriage with Co-signing! by Dave Ramsey

Should we co-sign on a loan?

We've been getting on track financially using your plan, but now my husband's parents wants us to co-sign on a new car. I think it's a bad idea, and have asked him to not do this. We're just on Baby Step 2, so any catastrophe would really set us back. What if my husband does this anyway? Do you have any tips on grace, or what do besides the "I told you so" lecture?

Dear Genevieve,
You're right about one thing. Co-signing for that car would be a very bad idea.
But I'm not sure this is the time for grace and understanding. I think this is one of those times when you stand in the driveway, and don't let him leave. Just tell him no! I understand that we're talking about family, and that makes it more difficult for him. But this guy needs to understand that he's putting your relationship in jeopardy if he completely goes against your wishes on something that you are adamantly against.
I'm serious about this. If the deal falls through, and there's a pretty good chance it will, it's not going to be just a setback or inconvenience for you guys. This kind of thing could potentially bankrupt your family. It could also cause big-time problems between your husband and his parents.

Do you know why banks want co-signers? It's because they don't think the people who want the loan will pay the bill! You're basically being asked to stick your head in the noose so the bank can hang you when they don't pay up!

Don't do it, Genevieve. Don't you ever co-sign for anyone, and don't let this happen. In the Contemporary English Version of Scripture Proverbs 17:18 reads, "It's stupid to guarantee someone else's loan." And that's not me speaking.

- Dave

I love Dave Ramsey, he gives such sound advice!!! He is also so clear. But it takes a lot of guts to apply thes principles, and I say principles as that is what it is. It's the right thing to do. There are untold potential problems it causes for close relationships and it plainly is not worth it.

If anyone does ever ask you, you run the risk of them trying to use guilt tactics, stay strong, it is just manipulation to get their way as they are in trouble. So so hard. Stay the course, it is for your protection. They will figure it out.

So as for Mike and I, we are convinced of the dangers and will never do it!!

Good luck and start paying attention to Dave's advice, it is well worth your time and energy. A lifetime of peace is yours and mine to have!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Another Smart Marriages quiz!

Great quiz for marriages. Very short and concise. Let me know what you think.

Have a good day!!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Black Friday

Well, black friday is here! ummmmm, Lara isn't so I was not at all motivated to look at anything. but I discovered someone who is interested...............................JON!! We slept in until 9:00 a.m. and in walks Jon, with an armload of goodies!!! And so proud of them at that!! He had alot of his Christmas shopping done, as he pulled out each item saying....."This is for Chloe, this is for Brayden and Daxton, this is for blah blah..........!!1

So next year I think I will tag along with Jon! He waited until the crowds died down, went to Walmart and Target got some great things for next to nothing. I'm tellin ya, I've got another black friday buddy again. Soooo, Jon, let's plan it out next year, very carefully and strategically, so we can sleep and we can miss the blast of people!!!


Sunday, November 22, 2009

Thankful, but haven't always remembered it.

Lara encouraged us all to write what may bug us, but for which we are really thankful for, soooooo the stuff I have that I am not grateful, but really am is:

Cleaning up after others in the house, the dirt that comes in with the shoes, the dishes that are left all around the house, the towels and dirty laundry left on the floor in the bathroom, or the lights left on and heat left up high.

This makes ME realize, I have people whom I love around, living, breathing, talking., playing people. This shows me that I am still healthy enough to move and bend to clean it up! That there are lights to switch on so easily, and off! That we have soft towels that make us feel delicious after showering and that we don't have to use them over and over and over again. That we can sit down an enjoy a book or a show and relax and eat whatever we want, whenever we want!!

This just leads me to think we are like the queens from past history, that we're prosperous and so well to do! Queens, yeah, that IS what we are, we can turn on the faucets in a tub and out comes hot and cold water, and we can just soak with the beautiful scents or bubbles. Yep, just like the queens of old!! We are so blessed. WOW!

Thank you for EVERYTHING I have, it is sooooooooooooo good.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

You KNOW you are getting old whennnnnnn!

Okay, so this takes the cake! I saw my glasses on the kitchen island while I was cleaning up! So I thought to myself, that is where your glasses are, Deni. Then going about my business doing dishes, doing laundry, and various sundry things, I was now ready to watch a program with Mike. I couldn't find my glasses anywhere! I was chattering to myself, and to Mike, Did you see my glasses, and then Jon walked up from the apartment, and I suddenly realized, hey, I can see him clearly, Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I have them on my face!! My goodness, I remember when my mother did that sort of thing, of good gravy, I'm getting old! Holy Cow!!!

We had a good laugh!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

TSP, what could that stand for!!

I have seven very talkative and very smart grandchildren thus far in my life! 4 girls and 3 boys to be exact! I am very fortuante to get to talk to them and have very interesting and fun conversations with them. I find them bright, funny, interesting, and thought provoking! They each have very distinct interests and wonderful individuality, just like their parents.
So today, I want to show what one of them looks like to me as a gramma, and what his cute conversations are like!

His name is "Tychon Stanton Preston", 6 years old going on 25 and full of life and full of personality. He called me yesterday to just talk. His first words on the phone is "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Gramma!!!!" And I always respond, "Isssssssss thissssss who I think it isSssssssss????" And he will say, "YES!, it's Tychon!!!"

Oh, my goodness, this little guy knows I know who he is and knows just how much I love him. I told him, "Tychon, I really miss you, and we really like to talk to each other, don't we!!" and he immediately responded: "Yeah, gramma, that's why I called you!!!" We usually spend a good 45 minutes to an hour talking about everything from what he is doing to what he is thinking about.

One of my questions yesterday was, "Tychon, what do you want to be when you grow up??" He said: "Uhhhhhhh, I really want to be an archeaologist!" "I would really love that!"
So I told him about a friend who is one, and that he was down in Guatamala digging and finding what he thinks to be the City of Nephi! Tychon says, "Wait, what is his name??? I think I heard his name and about all the things you just said, exactly." (We are talking about a 6 year old knowing this story!!) Incredible!

It is like I'm talking to Lara, Nate or one of the other kids, who are our adult children!

Tychon also has entreprenurial blood in him, he sells rocks at races he attends with his parents and he told me that just a couple of weeks ago he made 9.00 in ONE DAY!! I told him, "Tychon, if you can sell rocks, you will be able to sell anything, what a gift you have!!" He laughed and said he will be selling his old books he has read next time. So we will see what his success rate is with that!!

I generally send him and Estee a package pretty often and THEY LOVE getting them. So I sent Estee a beautiful petticoat like Sophia's and Tychon told me that Estee put it right on and danced in it. But that is not all......Tychon said......."she is sooooo cute in it gramma!!!!!" (isn't that precious????)

At the closing of our visit, he told us he had to go to Ace Hardware to buy a couple of wires he has been wanting to buy! Ummmm, Tychon, buy WIRES, for what and with what???? He toldf me he uses his money he earns selling rocks and he will use the wires to build things that run, like boats and rockets. WOW! All I can say is.......Just like his Dad!!

I love that his parents encourage this in him and give him the belief that he can do what he loves! BUT mostly I just love to hear him tell me ALL about it!!!

Friday, November 13, 2009

A Very Special Girl!

I am dedicating this blog post to one of my dear daughters-in-law whom I am coming to know better each day. She is a beautiful girl inside and out and her name is Rachael. She is just one of the family members whom I adore, but I would like to introduce you to her ever so strong strengths. First of all, she will come up and talk with me and ask me searching questions, thirsty to learn and open to hear. Not many people are like that. I hope she knows that whatever I say is only an opinion and she can do with it as she wants, trash it, use it , wear it, or laugh at it!! Because that is what it is, an opinion!! I so appreciate this strength in her, as I can relax and voice what I have come to know in life, ever rational or irrational it may seem.
Another strength is she smiles, ALOT, and she wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings if she tried. She would get out of there first before she would ever want to hurt someone. That is a great strength because she is trying to think of the other person first. I know this of her. Even if I say something that could be taken wrong, she seems to give me the benefit of the doubt, what greater blessing is there by someone you love???
She enjoys trying to sort things out and through and over and around etc. etc. I am grateful I am there to be the one she sometimes asks. It is a blessing. If I have the time, I really like to listen to her and try to put things in a different perspective when not emotionally involved. Heaven knows when we are emotionally involved we never see things as clearly as we would like to think we do. I appreciate it when someone will hear me out too!! So I love that I get to do that at times.
These are just a few of the strengths I see and have the priviledge of partaking of when rubbing shoulders with Rachael! Aren't I lucky?

Yes, I am!! I love you my dear!

Thursday, November 12, 2009


This was put out by the nation's political cartoonists! Thanks to my son who sent this to me.
So true, so true!! And we bought it!

The Audacity of Unawareness

April 15th, 2009 5:03 pm Barack Obama, through his spokesman, claimed today that he wasunaware of the tax day tea parties. Granted, the MSM has done a good job in suppressing any sort of coverage ahead of time (and the little coverage they did provide was derisive at best). but how out of touch is the Community Organizer in Chief, really?This much we know: - He was unaware that he was attending a church (for 20 years) with a racist pastor who hates America .. - He was unaware that he was family friends with, and started his political career in the living room of, a domestic terrorist. - He was unaware that he had invested in two speculative companies backed by some of his top donors right after taking office in 2005. - He was unaware that his own aunt was living in the US illegally. - He was unaware that his own brother lives on pennies a day in a hut in Kenya . - He was unaware of the AIG bonuses that he and his administration approved and signed into a bill.. - He was unaware that the man he nominated to be his Secretary of Commerce was under investigation in a bribery scandal. - He was unaware that the man he nominated to be his Secretary of Health and Human Services was a tax cheat. - He was unaware that the man he nominated to be his Secretary of the Treasury was a tax cheat. - He was unaware that the man he nominated to be the U.S. Trade Representative was a tax cheat. - He was unaware that the woman he nominated to be his Chief Performance Officer was a tax cheat. - He was unaware that the man he nominated to be #2 at the Environmental Protection Agency was under investigation for mismanaging $25 million in EPA grants. PLEASE,,, there are people in comas that are more aware of world affairs than this guy. You have three years, nine-and-a-half months to come up with an answer .

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Pumpkin????

I love this analogy, especiallly when we are all thinking about Pumpkins and Goblins and such at this time of year. Every thing really does point toward the Savior!!

A Pumpkin and a Christian By Vickey Pahnke Taylor
A woman was asked by a coworker, 'What is it like to be a Christian?'The coworker replied, 'It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in,and washes all the dirt off of you. Next, He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see.'
Although this is, of course, a very simplified approach, we can see the similarities in our development as a follower of Christ.

1. Picking us from the patch and washing off the dirt.Through the Atonement, we are blessed to be cleansed and brought into the fold. When we determine to follow the Good Shepherd and this cleansing takes place, we learn not only to turn from sin, but to shake off the remnants of it and move forward. This gift is one we use daily, all the rest of our days. It is an amazingly freeing process! Basics of goodness bless us to remember who we are and increase our desire to live within the boundaries of His laws, safely away from the “patch” where worldly things glare.

2. Removing the seeds of dark traits.The scooping out of the negative characteristics is a necessary part of our growth, in order to become like Christ. Removing the dark to make way for more light is not an easy process. In fact, like Elder Neal A. Maxwell once taught, “The enlarging of the soul requires not only some remodeling, but some excavating. Hypocrisy, guile, and other imbedded traits do not go gladly or easily.” (“Endure It Well”, Ensign, May 1990.) Through this excavation process, we emerge as a new being, growing closer and closer to the goal of enjoying a mighty change of heart with “no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.” (Mosiah 5:2).

3. Carving a smiling face and placing His light within.President N. Eldon Tanner once said, “All truth is discerned through the Spirit of Truth or the Light of Christ.” (Ensign, November 1977, p.50.) The more truth we learn, the better we feel, because “The key to happiness is to get the Spirit and keep it.” (President Marion G. Romney, General Conference, October 1961, p. 61.) The Lord wants us to be happy. Genuine smiles accompany all His followers who strive to keep that light, grow it, and live it.

4. Shining for all to see.Others often want to know more about our religion – about Christ- because they know us. They notice the difference when we are filled with joy and light. As a real-life example, we may have more real impact on other folks than books they read, programs they attend, or words we share. They feel and respond to us because they see us acting on what we know to be right. That, it seems to me, is partly why President David O. McKay- when presented the song “I Am A Child of God” - changed the sentence “Teach me all that I must know” to “Teach me all that I must do.”As “doers of the word and not hearers only” (James 1:22), we become better followers of Christ. What a blessing! Because of His great love for us, we can become clean, work to remove the darkness from within us, replace that darkness with His pure light, and shine for all the world to see. Through this process, we gain a better understanding of what it means to be a Christian!
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Great Family Home Evening!!!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Life of Another, inspires!!

I had a little bit of time today and I chose to watch Oprah, whom I rarely watch! But I read the Nienie blogger and found she was gong to be on Oprah's show today! It was moving. In fact, so much so, it moved me to tears. Lara has followed her and she her for quite some time. Because Lara lived in Cedar she was so painfully aware of this plane accident that occurred there, and since then I have looked occasionally at NieNie's blog. I have found a delightful, interesting, moving person there with an ability to teach us all important lessons without knowing her or her even speaking a word.

So as I watched today.

I noticed her beautiful eyes, the spirit in her soul through them. I could see through to her heart! She is so inspiring!

You know, it's the eyes that tell us about us. It is the window to our soul, our feelings, our thoughts. She is so beautiful, even with all of those scars.

So many of us, do not have much to complain about, not like her. But she doesn't. I am so sure, she has times of discouragement, of pain, of impatience. But I believe that the Savior has carried her through and she has felt it keenly !! And because of the experience she had in her coma, that she could choose to stay or go back to Father, that her testimony of the Savior was engraven upon her heart forever! What a testimony of His reality!!

I loved this story and I must say I am so grateful for the life I have and have had. I am so grateful I was given four beautiful children to raise, to LOVE, and to go along the pathway of life with! They are all extraordinary, weaknesses and strengths. Just as this NieNie expressed ever so humbly.
I love/loved being a mom, a ma, a mamah, a gramma, a daughter, a sister, a wife! There is nothing better. I gave myself, imperfections and all to this calling and graciously thank my Father for this opportunity for growth and for refinement! Even though I have a long way to go, LOL!
My children will surely tell you that!!
Weaknesses are hard to overcome, but they will take us to heaven if we allow it!

Thank you Stephanie for your life, your example!!

Hugs and Kisses!!

( Woops, I mean the accident was in Mesa, Arizona, sorry guys)

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Forgotten appreciation!!

I just suddenly realized that so many of Lara's readers/friends hopped over to my blog on my birthday and I need to thank you wonderful women for including me im her and your lives!! You all have touched my life too in reading what you have to say to Lara. Good, good women! Daughters of the covenant, through thick and thin. Through the ups and downs of life!! YOur funny, positive, and real comments make it easier to do the things we do!! Love to you all, kiss kiss, hug hug!!

Again, I am so sorry I didn't give you the appropriate appreciation back months ago!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Something to this!

I was listening to Dr. Laura today and I am always so enthralled as to what she has to say to her callers and of course to all of us listening in. I find the general thread is to let all of us women know that we must stop acting like little children, throwing tantrums when we don't get our way with our men! Be nice to our husbands, let them know how wonderful they are, appreciate them and love them. Coming from a family dominated by men and now my own family that is dominated by men, I have to agree with this. Men have very tender feelings and they get ignored quite often. Plus, it is interesting how women don't realize that what they say at times can hurt them and cause them to get upset too!!

So, Dr. Laura really gets after the women, which to me is a switch. I usually hear the men getting the lectures. I love the fact that women when using their sweet, kind natures will get a lot more out of their men, then if they gripe or complain or push them to do something they don't feel comfortable with. Well anyhow, just listen to her sometime.

I love the fact my grand daughters love their uncles and their grandpa! And those men thrive on it!!
Even the influence of a little girl shows early on with their fathers and their male family members. I know my husband treated Lara much different than our sons, so that must be the inate behavior that comes from a father interacting with his beautiful daughter. Something to it, don't you think?

So a word to all of us women, treat all men with love and kindness and I think we will be so surprised at the power we have to get what we really want and that is adoration.

Kiss, kiss, hug hug!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Let go and Let God!

My personal study this morning focused on purification and santification of ourselves. I came across this story that really opened my heart to asnother way the Lord works with us!

A story from “Ellen,” a mother in San Diego, California, who learned an extraordinary lesson in
the power of personal sanctification.
My patience was wearing thin. First, I lost patience with my daughter, Angela, whom I could not reach no matter what tactic I used; and second, I lost patience with the Lord for not stepping in to help. My husband and I counseled with our bishop, after which I felt even more hopeless. All he did was run down the checklist: Were we praying as a couple, individually, and as a family? Were we fasting for our daughter? Were we holding family home evening, diligent in our callings, reading the scriptures, attending the temple—you get the idea. I felt as though I was in a temple recommend interview. That is not what is needed! I screamed inside. Give me something concrete that I can do to change Angela! My husband and I left the bishop’s office with his parting counsel, “Take everything up a notch. When you shine more brightly, you’ll be able to shine a brighter beam on your daughter.”I was so disappointed, and I told my husband as much. It was Angela who needed changing, not us. I felt as though the Church had let me down; the gospel was merely theory and void of practical application—a set of pat Sunday School answers with no substance.
My patient husband listened to me rant, then presented another view. He had actually felt something when the bishop had talked to us about light. Quoting D&C 93:37, my husband said, “The scriptures say ‘light and truth forsake that evil one.’ If light is what is needed then we should do as the bishop counseled and try to bring more light into our lives.”
After that, I repented of my tantrum and followed my husband’s lead. Over the next few months, we examined every spiritual aspect of our lives and tried to bring our spirituality up a notch: better prayers, more consistent scripture study, more frequent family home evening and temple attendance—anything to infuse more spiritual light into our lives. Although I felt a decided improvement in me, I noticed no improvement in my daughter. Nevertheless, I persevered in increasing the light.
One day when I was reading the scriptures, two visual images came into my mind. First, I imagined that I was holding a spotlight with the beam fixed on my daughter. Every time I prayed, fasted, studied the scriptures, attended the temple, etc., the beam grew more intense. Despite Angela’s ongoing attempts to seek the darkness, she could not escape the light that I was shining on her. Then I saw Angela under a magnifying glass that the Lord was holding. She was also under its light, although the glass was far away from her now. Nevertheless, I realized that the Lord was slowly moving the glass toward her, and in the process, the light was growing more and more concentrated. In time, the light would form a focused beam and become very intense. When that happened, the concentrated light—depending upon her choice—would either burn out all her impurities or burn her up. Clearly, someone skilled and someone who knew Angela very well needed to be in charge of the magnifying glass. I understood that I was not that person. If I were holding the magnifying glass, I might incinerate Angela due to my impatience; but gratefully, the Lord held the glass, and He knew how to focus the light through the lens to purify her. His intention was to save and not to destroy her.
I gained an appreciation for the bishop’s counsel. The gospel was truly a practical remedy for spiritual problems. If I simply focused on filling myself with light—Jesus said we are the light of the world—then I would gain the ability to cast a continual, bright beam on my daughter, which would illuminate her while the Lord worked the magnifying glass to concentrate the light. The Lord and I were partners in the light!
Angela has not totally forsaken her wayward ways, but my husband and I have noticed marked improvement in her. Recently she was involved in a serious accident that could have taken her life. Miraculously, she walked away unscathed, knowing that God had saved her and given her a second chance. There was no other explanation. She has given up alcohol and has begun to pray. Spiritual ideas nag at her constantly, as though she is under a persistent beam of light. She can’t get those thoughts out of her mind. Now, when she brings them up of her own free will, we have opportunities to talk about the gospel. My husband I and know that Angela will return; it is just a matter of time. But in the meantime, we continue to try and bring more light into our lives. Author’s Note
This article was adapted from Larry Burkdall's book, Rescuing Wayward children.

Are we all not wayward children, whom the Lord is working to rescue???????

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Have I seen the Hand of God reaching out to me today?

As I listen to Elder Eyring, I am brought to tears as I think of the so many things that has shown me the hand of God reaching out to me in my life today and every day!

So this is my goal, to write down every day, what I have seen that HE gave to me to reach out to me.

Thank you so much for that message, one that I needed at this very moment!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009!

Need help with food storage ideas? Go to my friends website, they were in the Mormontimes this week. The link is I hope this takes you there. It is Jodi Weiss Moore and her sister-in-law Julie Weiss. What a great service.

Love to all.

Monday, August 24, 2009

The fluid changes of family!

Well, school is back in full force, and many things occurred this summer that were life changes within my family! All wonderful blessings, but not without question and reflection!

From one marrying someone so perfect for him to one who is moving 1900 miles away for an experience so perfect for them!

The benefits for me is to go visit and see many different sights and see what they are doing to contribute to their communities, jobs, and wards (branch in Lara's case). It is such a neat thing to witness growth in all of the children.

For another it is buying a new adventure in ownership and another to use his many talents in a job that allows growth of his mind. Each one has something that is hard, yet challenging. Which I know they can meet. I know, because I raised them and their individual personalities and could see the great potential each had and still has.

I am in awe of the opportunities these children have had, unlike what I had. But I can say mine are coming in later life. Those opportunities to choose what they desire out of life. When growing up we had such a desire of education for the chldren and it all started in Montessori School in Provo, Utah. And they all got it and thrived. They all learned the value of hard work with their mind and their hands. We didn't have these things when we were growing up, we had very little and by the time I was 12 I had to buy my own clothes and anything I needed or wanted. Which I will tell you wasn't much.

But, wow, I can say, that during the years the kids were growing up they had magnificent opportunities in school, sports, community and church. So the message I have today is how fortunate they were to be raised in that time and to be raised in a safe environment. Many, many blessings. That is the reflection of the questions that come from the new experiences as we watch the decisions being made.

Great Luck all!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

The Bride and the Groom!

I LOVE these two so much! They both are so wonderful, with Nate working in Phoenix and getting ready for fall at ASU in the MRED program, and Brit working so hard with websites, photography, her bachelors degree from BYU, and finding grants and scholarships for Quinton, the summer has been very busy for them. They are actually excited for more time together during the school year with their time being less demanding! They have so many goals and seem to be meeting them and the most important thing is that they are sure happy!!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Don't get on!

Ewwwwww! I just have to write this! On Glenn Beck this week, he exposed the website, you know the one on clunkers for cash that when you turn in your perfectly good car, aka clunker that you will get 4500 credit towardsw another car, and then that perfectly good clunker will go to the crusher to get rid of the spare parts, then send the crushed car to China so they can make more stuff out of it to send to us! This is crazy!
But, guys, this isn't the worst of it, if you get on that website and click on I agree, (don't do it) the federal government now owns your computer and everything on it! And it is perfectly legal!!
I am so sick! We are quickly becoming a country I don't recognize. Stand up America or open your eyes and start to listen! We are in trouble. But maybe we are going to be ready for a Mormon in the White House to save the constitution as it is hanging by less than a thread!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Advice is like snow----
The softer it falls,
The longer it dwells,
And the deeper it
sinks into the mind!!

We all are necessary to the plan!

I guess I am not the best at blogging, but it does encourage me at times to put down my thoughts and feelings. I seem to be going in the direction of these catagories. LOL! 1) Thoughts on what I read, either spiritually speaking or human psychology. 2) Pictures of the children and the grandchildren. 3) Pictures of some adventures. Well, at least I am keeping some sort of journal this way.

I have learned this past week a little more on the "Doctrine of Agency", (which I don't entirely understand, and I believe we all have misunderstandings concerning it.) That when we are trying to "fix" someone else it becomes "unrighteous dominion". That takes cause for pondering.

( This wonderful law of agency is shown beautifully by the Savior's example. The Savior did not go and ask the women in adultery to come here and he will fix them. He waited for the people to come to Him. He did not go chasing after people to show them He could heal them or force them to be healed. The people He healed came to Him, willingly. It was their choice.)

Getting back to the "unrighteous dominion" part, I was reading in my Meridian magazine this morning and it happened to include this concept and I decided to include these excerpts for good reading. (and better understanding, at least for me.)

Power and Love

Jesus Christ embodies every good trait, and we see the combination of power and love exemplified in His servants. Those who remember President Spencer W. Kimball have no problem envisioning power, love, and humility reconciled within the same individual. Yet when it comes to the way many of us apply these principles, the practical answer to the question of power is much more difficult; we often fail to develop such traits harmoniously within ourselves. As Joseph Smith taught, “We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion” (D&C 121:39).

Latter-day Saint psychologist Dr. Allen E. Bergin explains, “Social scientists tend to separate power and love in order to accurately describe human relationships and organizational dynamics, but the gospel intent is that power and love become unified in a singular style.” Societal attitudes have a way of encroaching and creeping into every nook and cranny of our worldview, and we must make a constant effort to understand the difference between the world’s version of power and the Lord’s. Bergin calls the gospel ideal revolutionary, but one that the world does not find “natural or possible” to implement.

So what is the gospel ideal of power, and what is the world’s? Again, Joseph Smith captured the essence of Godly power in scripture: “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned” (D&C 121:41). The result of exercising this kind of power is “an everlasting dominion” that exists “without compulsory means” (D&C 121:46). On the other hand, any time a person exerts influence in a forceful manner, or whenever the exercise of power is motivated by something other than love—such as a craving for control, admiration, or the accomplishment of self-oriented goals—the individual uses worldly power.

Power and the Family

An important arena where unrighteous dominion can occur is within the family. Dr. Bergin writes, “God has given specific principles for how families are to be governed so that each member is nurtured in love and growth. Unfortunately, Latter-day Saint families do not always follow these principles.” Specifically, spouses may adopt habits of unrighteous dominion in their relationships when they adhere to oft-misunderstood biblical scriptures at the expense of heeding latter-day prophets. Taking certain teachings out of context from the whole gospel spectrum can lead some people to erroneously conclude that it is men’s responsibility to lead and women’s obligation to follow.

For example, President Gordon B. Hinckley explained that Adam’s “ruling over” Eve as stated in Genesis means “to responsibly provide for, to protect, to strengthen and shield [his] wife.” 3 President Spencer W. Kimball quipped: “We have heard of men who have said to their wives, ‘I hold the priesthood and you’ve got to do what I say.’ Such a man should be tried for his membership.” 4

While it is wrong for a man to use the priesthood as an excuse to dominate, it is also wrong for a woman to insist on independence to the point of ignoring her husband’s opinions and counsel. Seeking to be in control at the expense of cooperating with one’s spouse is unrighteous dominion, whether the controlling spouse has the priesthood or not. Instead of engaging in power struggles, spouses should adopt “the principle of unanimous consent in decision making, as used in the presiding quorums of the Church,” which is outlined in D&C 107:27–31. Dr. Bergin writes, “Neither partner in a marriage should go forward with a decision or action without agreement from the other partner.” Instead of conforming to a worldly power structure wherein one person leads from a higher position, Latter-day Saints must “accept and act upon a revolutionary vision of differentiation without dominance and of distinctiveness without inequality.”

“Distinctiveness without inequality.” That is the power structure of God’s plan. Powers are divided up, so that all beings, male and female, have a necessary part in the plan of salvation. It has been set up in such a way that we must rely on each other. No man can be exalted without the powers and gifts given only to a woman. No woman can be exalted without the specific powers of men and priesthood.

Who runs the kingdom? The women. And the men. And God. Take any of their powers away, and the whole plan falls to pieces.


So it is all part of the plan, we just need to learn how to "do" it like the Savior did it. Becoming like Him takes a lifetime of willingness to study Him and to practice. I, myself, get's stuck in the natural man easily. It is a constant battle to overcome the world and my own weaknesses. So the more I learn, the less I really know!!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Miss Sophie!!

Sophie is the one granddaughter that people say has my smile! I couldn't see it at first. The first time I heard it was from Mark Neves, one of Joel's great brothers! I was caught off guard because honestly, very rarely do I hear that anyone, including my children, look anything like me at all. Even though I have spent a lifetime staring at them and can tell you which side of the family each child gets one thing or another. But this kid has my smile and my color hair!! Couldn't get any better!

Anyhow, I'm truly very proud that Sophia has a little of me in her! She is a total crack up and since she was born I have always had this inkling to tease her. I believe we knew each other well before coming here and we spent many hours laughing and teasing each other!

She is my Sophia Blake Naauilii Neves! (hope the spelling is correct, lol!) And I love and adore her!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Holy Fetch!

Gotta go read this newly developed website for Mormon myths!! It is so fun and interesting!!
It is Have fun with it!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Helpful blog!!

Hey! Get a load of this blog that will help with lessons and talks! I hope this link works! I happened upon this this morning while reading my morning Meridian!!

Have a great day!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The best presents!!

Look at these serious guys reading their special Christmas letters from Santa, oops, I mean Mom and Dad!! They are certainly loved!! I really feel we all love to get these kinds of letters!! What good people!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Mr. SnowMan!! Bring me some snow!!

This was Christmas Day and it was cloudy and overcast and plenty of snow for a beautiful snowman!! I was in cooking away while the guys were out building the snowman!! When they finished they were all very proud of their accomplishment!!
The top picture was in April and these two like to snuggle and tease each other. Daxton is such a doll!

Memories of a birthday!

Look at all those cute faces! This fun night was December 30th, my birthday, and my family made it so much fun. The most fun part was Jon playing DJ and we all danced and sang. Happy times!! This was where I opened an envelope and stood frozen when I read I had been invited to speak at Women's Conference in April. Totally nuts!! But anyhow, I must say, like any mother, I love my children and grandchildren and appreciate their thoughtfulness in celebrating my birthday with a load of fun!! I didn't get all of our pictures taken, I'm not as good with the camera as Lara, but it is what it is!

Duke in all his glory, Lara and Bria snuggling while dancing, Joel teasing Sophie, and Chloe the lovebug, giving Rachael a big snuggle!! We had a blast!!!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

One good talk!

"Beware of the evil behind the smiling eyes!" Read this talk in the Ensign from a few years back. May 2005, Neil L. Anderson!

goes along with the story "You knew I was a snake!"

Many wonderful insights!!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Pictures are always worth a thousand words!

Mike and I were going through about 400 pictures on our little camera from clear back in October 2008. So I thought I would start to post a few for your viewing pleasure. These first ones are of Jon, Rachael and the boys. Whenever they come to visit, they sure do laugh and have a great time with their dad and rach.
(I don't know how to put the words and pictures in order, it seems to go wherever, sorry!)

The Breath-taking beauty of Alaska!

One of my favorite days was Tuesday, June 2, 2009 in Glacier Bay! It was spectacular to say the least! The blue of the glacier, the sky and the sea was breath-taking! I really want to go back. It was the best thing we ever did!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Summer Creativity!

Here is something for you dear mommies for long summer days! You can find these things on Meridian Magazine!!

Summer—A Time to be Creative
By Holly E. Newton

Summertime is the greatest part of the year to take some time and be creative. Here are some great activity books that you and your youngster can enjoy together. Most of these books are great for ages 8 and older.

First, let’s begin with four activity books that you take in the car and while away the hours of driving. Yes, your child can enjoy the trip without having the TV blaring and blasting all of the way to your destination. Klutz’s Triptivities: Great Activities for the Road, published by Scholastic, is the perfect smallish flip book full of fun stuff for your kids to enjoy on a long drive. Some of the activities include estimations, language skills and doodling. There’s even a pencil included that fits perfectly in a pouch by the flip book so your child has it handy when ready to open to the first page.

The always popular Megan McDonald has another fun “Judy Moody” book out called Double-Rare Way-Not-Boring Book of Fun Stuff To Do.This paperback book, illustrated by Peter H. Reynolds, is similar to the previous book in that it’s also full of activities – but this book is geared more for girls. There are jokes, interesting facts and crossword puzzles and much more. I especially like the way the book is presented because there are also many opportunities to write your own thoughts and creative ideas in the book. There are stickers included at the back.

How To Draw Funny,by Klutz, has hilarious comic characters for you to learn to draw. Each page has an action verb heading and a simple illustration of a funny-looking animal on the top part of the page for you to copy right below. Some of the verbs include strong emotions such as “Nervous” and “Pain” and some include action verbs such as “Splashing” and “Sleeping”. The book also includes markers, a mechanical pencil and an eraser.

Klutz’s What About You?: 280 Questions on the World’s Most Fascinating Topic,by Karen Phillips, asks interesting questions that have to do with you. So these are great fun to answer, meditate and wonder about. Some of the questions include friends, food and books. There’s even survey-style paper located in the back of the book.

Wilderness Explorer’s Guide,adapted from the popular movie “UP”, is full of many kinds of activities associated with scouts. The chapters include locating and naming insects, safety in hiking and teaching knot tying. The fun lay-out of the book makes kids want to learn all that’s inside. And, there are three sheets of stickers located at the back.

Spies Revealed, by Clive Gifford, is a fascinating look into the world of espionage and secret agents. This over-sized book gives an incredible inside look into this world and helps with understanding and deciphering codes and spy techniques. The lay-out is kid-friendly with many pull-tabs, charts and a questionnaire to see how you’d be as a spy.

The rest of the books are craft books full of all kinds of creations. There are two new “Build-a-Book” kits where kids can create books that are already bound: My Really Good Friends and I Love My Dad are full of inspiration and ideas on embossed paper for kids to frame and decorate after their story is written.

Klutz’s Clothespin Cars, Fuzzy Little Monkeys and Fuzzimal Puppies, all published by Scholastic, make great gifts or toys for kids to make. These books have all of the necessary items to make and create and invite fun into a child’s day.

Klutz also has a designer book geared for kids a bit older. Paper Fashions Fantasy,includes stencils, fabric and glitter to make and alter different styles of princess gowns, fairy dresses and royalty galore. There are even tiny hangers to showcase your designs.

Klutz’s Tricky Video, will surely help the future movie entrepreneur prepare that fun video for the family by adding gags and tricks-of-the-trade. This fun to look at book will save hours of time by showing the step-by-step order of each stunt needed to make a lively show!

The last two books are geared for the younger set, ages 3 to 7. Dr. Seuss Lacing Cards: The Cat in the Hat and Dr. Seuss Puzzle Story: Green Eggs and Ham are both terrific and fun exercises in eye-hand coordination necessary for youngsters as they prepare to read and write.

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Choosing Peace

Choosing Peace

Elder Richard G. Scott has spoken clearly and beautifully about how we may choose a better quality life, with these words:

“You have a choice. You can wring your hands and be consumed with concern for the future or choose to use the counsel the Lord has given to live with peace and happiness in a world awash with evil….. We cannot dry up the mounting river of evil influences, for they result from the exercise of moral agency divinely granted by our Father. But we can and must, with clarity, warn of the consequences of getting close to its enticing, destructive current.

Now on the brighter side. Despite pockets of evil, the world overall is majestically beautiful, filled with good and sincere people. God has provided a way to live in this world and not be contaminated by the degrading pressures evil agents spread throughout it. You can live a virtuous, productive, righteous life by following the plan of protection created by your Father in Heaven: His plan of happiness.” (“How to Live Well Amid Increasing Evil”, Ensign magazine, May 2004).

When I read this this morning, it reaffirmed what I have been feeling as we watch our world collapse around us with Iran, North Korea, our economy, our society and it's values. I find it interesting to watch as it keeps reminding me of the prophecies that are being fulfilled. Is it any surprise all of this is happening? Even, the hearts of men will grow cold, I take that for one another as well. Are we not watching this? Are we not watching some of this among our own selves? I find myself even getting fed up. But What Elder Scott says is true, He has provided us with a plan, a way back through all of this muck by following His way. He is the life, the light! For that I am so grateful. I will try harder!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Mormons for marriage

Here is a great website for all of us who believe in marriage is between a man and a woman. (I honestly can't believe we have come to this) but you will enjoy the thoughts and information held here. You will find it at

Love to all, and now off to an Alaskan Cruise, woo hoo!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Children's summer reading!

Okay my little chickies! Here is a great website that reviews children's books by a kindergarten teacher here in Utah! She reads them cover to cover to review what is worthwhile and safe for our children or grandchildren in my case. I am quite excited to find some really cute books and uplifting ones at that for the kids! The link is!
Happy summer reading!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Best Utah Mommy Blog!! WOW!!

Hey everyone!! My daughter's blog is up for best Utah mommy's blog!!! Her blog is which is titled Overstuffed! If you feel so inclined to vote for her, go to and vote!! You can vote up three blogs as your favorite!!

Thanks to all who are so supportive of our family, we are so very grateful for your love!!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Mamah TV!!

I just love my grandchildren! I heard from Sophia today, my youngest grandchild who happens to be a card and a half! She keeps us all laughing!! Anyhow, I saw someone called from Lara's home and I was returning the call. I got a hold of Lara, Sophie's mother, and my daughter! Lara said Sophie wanted to talk to me and I wasn't answering so she went in the bedroom and cried. She came out pulled together and said I want to watch "Mamah TV!" The show happened to be on at that very moment and she settled down. After Lara told me the story, Sophie got on and talked for a minute and held the phone up to the TV showing me myself! Isn't that the cutest????
They make my life so full and get me out of myself anytime, any day!

I love you children forever and a day!!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I'm down to the wire girls! And I'm thinking I might want some input from you all! If you went to conference searching for answers concerning, "My Body is a Temple, my Heavenly Father gave to me". What would be some of your heartfelt needs?

I love you!!

Monday, April 20, 2009

WOW! I think Spring just might be here and we can come out of hibernation! The blossoms are gorgeous and the birds are singing! Woo Hoo!! Spring has such wonderful memories for me, the smells, the way the sun hits on the earth spring axis and just the fact it brings feelings of getting out and doing things!! You know the Spring cleaning feeling!! I just love it!

Well, go to my daughters blog, she is celebrating a birthday of her blog by giving away a darling apron she had made. Here is her link,! By merely commenting you will be entered into a drawing for it. It is amazing how far blogging has come in such a short time and her experiences with it have been wonderful! I have to agree with her that blogging brings a person joy to be able to write down thoughts and feelings that are foremost on the mind, to look back at later and realize how far you've come or what you had been facing at one time. It really does take on the face of a journal in many ways.

My blogging has been mostly my fitness blog/website that has been just a wonderful experience with the encouragement of Lara and the expertise of my son, Nate!! I have spent most of my time investing in it. It's new face will be called! All articles will be moved over from this week, and we will update it.

This blog is a side blog with just some thoughts and feelings of more of a personal nature, or insights of what I'm learning in a personal way. It does feel really good to be able to write down these thoughts, it is very cathartic. One person's blog is not that important to others, but it is to the person writing it. I can honestly say that the few, and mean very few, who do read this and have left wonderful uplifting comments, well, thank you for coming to my little part of the blogging world and, understanding what I'm trying to say! I can totally understand how Lara feels about her blog, her own part of her world that she lives everyday and is trying to make sense of. Just as we all are trying to make sense of this life and it's experiences and how it fits into the plan!

Go and have a great day and know you are of great worth, no matter how small of a contribution you feel you are giving!!

P.S. Get better my darling granddaughter, Chloe!!! I love you, baby!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Oh, Oh, Oh!! I keep forgetting to tell all of you who google my name! has been dissolved due to some gliche in the system, it is currently under reconstruction, to be named!!
So in just a few days or a week we will be up online again!

Thanks so much for your patience!


Yesterday was quite a day, that's all I can say! Well, it is still raining and I'm off to teach classes but before I go teach and put away blogging for another long time I thought I would share the thoughts that came to me last night.

What started with some discouragement within myself and writing down a few thoughts about it, that turned into a very nasty, negative comment from someone out of the blue, and who knows who they were, I just know it was someone I didn't even know, to a day spent in starting to look into what I needed to speak on for Women's conference when it hit me like a ton of bricks!

I was talking to Mike about this discouragement that hit me the day before yesterday from no where (usually I'm pretty happy and upbeat!) and I thought maybe it was more menopausal issues, (which does play a part, believe me) but I realized the adversary was really hard at work on me, using one of my weak areas (discouragement! Cant get me in drinking, drugs, smoking, gambling, immorality, etc etc) (but boy he can hit me the area of discouragment at times!) Then I told him that that same adversary was busy at work using people to get to me. People who apparently are facing their own problems and used me as a target to get out their anger. I felt very sorry for them. But I realized that he was laughing at the whole thing! Because there is nothing more that makes him happy than to create divisiveness amongst the Saints, or our brothers and sisters. All of us are very guilty of being divisive at times. Intentional and unintentional. But now, that I have sufficiently put my finger on what is really going on, I can continue to go forward to get this new assignment going, as Elder Samuelson said, there are women coming from all over the world who are needing their prayers answered. Who need us to have the Spirit so we can answer those prayers. All I can say is there was a reason for me to experience this slamming discouragement of my own (who by the way was noone else's but my own, no one was responsible) and then someone else's stuff it just woke me up to the reality of this assignment and it's importance. Boy am I "Out to Lunch!" I do know who I am, I do know I am a divine daughter of God who is trying to be diligent in living right. But sometimes fails, but I believe that is what the Atonement is for! Hopefully I'll remember earlier next time, yeah right, never happens that way, but at least I'll keep telling myself it can!

All I can say is I am so grateful to Father in heaven for this experience to give me strength, and to give me resolve to continue on in the path I am in. Must be right, if I'm receiving opposition!!

Love to all!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Lone Survivor!

Okay, my very small following who are my friends! I'm writing blog after blog because it is a dreary, cold day and I don't have to teach a million classes today! I probably should set these posts for every day, like Lara does, but I don't know how, and I don't know when I'll return anyway, I'm just so sporadic! But I have a lot on my mind today and much to share. I don't have any kids at home to laugh at or post pictures, I don't have many experiences with funny things that they say either, although there was a day that did occur all the time, and how I wish we had something like this to record it because it is so much easier than writing things down, besides I was sporadic at that as well, and I'm sure I will go down to you know where not doing that as I should! But I do have reflective thoughts that I like to write down now and then. And since a blog is for writing down, thoughts, views, insights, sadnesses, happinesses, reflections and such which is what we women find comfort in at times, this is a cool place to do it. Knowing my words are not that important to anyone, but very helpful to me. I like how Mommy blogs are generally so kind and uplifting in comments, especially to anyone who needs a little extra umph for that day. So I really love to read your comments and insights into the thought of the day. It brings great joy. I think I've run into only a couple of very negative comments, and well, I just delete them when they are non -constuctive or mean-spirited, although looking into blogging ettiquette, I'll just leave them next time, oops.

So inasmuch as I took an ADD turn and got distracted, here is what I was really thinking about:
I just got done reading this wonderful book called "Lone Survivor" by Marcus Luttrell and it is a "can't put down book". He is the one Navy Seal that survived Operation Redwing in Afganistan in 2005 where an entire helicopter was shot down trying to save the four seals on the ground. Needless to say, Marcus was the only one who made it out, and has quite a story to tell. He tells his story from the enlistment in the Navy, to Bootcamp, to INOC, to SEAL training and IT IS fascinating. (by the way, my nephew is a SEAL). After all the training they are called up to go to Afganistan to try to get one of the main AL QUEDA/TALIBAN leaders. In it you learn of the hatred for Americans they have and follow Marcus and his team through the mission. I won't ruin it for you, but the hand of the Lord is in his survival as he always seems to have his rifle right next to him as he falls off cliffs, precipices and such, which are many!! And in his protection, escape, and rescue! What I came away with is a deepened love for our country, the Navy and the Seals! Thank you so much for what you seem to be born to do to keep us a free country. GO SEALS!

Fear-shame dynamic, super interesting read!

This one is so good that I'll include the whole thing. And, yes, you havefive different opportunities to study with Steven Stosny at the OrlandoSmart Marriages conference - you'll see his *Marriage An Inside Job* keynotewith Pat Love, can attend three 90-min workshops, and spend two intensivedays with him where he'll train and certify you as a CompassionPower BootCamp Instructor - teach you how to help couples stop the Fear/Shame cycle. - diane

Marriage Problems: 50 Ways to Cause Fear and ShameBy Steven Stosny on April 13, 2009 - 11:11am in Anger in the Age ofEntitlement
I've posted before - and with Pat Love have written a book about - theancient fear-shame dynamic that secretly undermines intimate relationships.To briefly recapitulate, usually subtle (but sometimes obvious) anxiety orfear in one partner triggers shame-avoidant behavior (withdrawal or anger)in the other, and vice versa.
Near the end of our three-day boot camps for highly distressed couples, Iask the men to list all the ways they are likely to make their partneranxious or afraid without meaning to and the women to list all the ways theyare likely to stimulate shame in their partners with no intention to do so.Amazingly, the more than 600 participants have come up with lists very closeto what Pat and I first brainstormed when we were discussing the book. (Wehave to admit that our prescience came after years of looking in all thewrong places - childhood wounds, communication patterns, etc. - for whycouples have such a hard time connecting even when they do everythingright.)

25 ways to make a woman anxious
€ Ignore her
€ Tell her what to do
€ Be short with your answers
€ Tune out her feelings
€ Stonewall or give her the cold shoulder
€ Take her for granted€ Limit or criticize her spending
€ Tell her to stop worrying
€ Tell her she's making too much of it
€ Tell her to get over it
€ Tell her she talks too much
€ Complain about her weight
€ Criticize her family
€ Withdraw or shut down
€ Yell or get angry
€ Pout or sulk
€ Threaten to quit your job
€ Flirt with other women
€ Don't know her dreams
€ Tell her she's just like her mother
€ Complain about her girlfriends
€ Give her the cold shoulder
€ Dismiss her ideas
€ Sound like you're trapped in the marriage
€ Buy a sports car

25 ways to stimulate shame in a man
€ Exclude him from important decisions
€ Correct what he says
€ Question his judgment
€ Give unsolicited advice
€ Dismiss his opinion
€ Imply inadequacy
€ Make unrealistic demands of his time and energy
€ Overreact
€ Ignore his desires
€ Focus on what you didn't get, rather than what you got
€ Withhold praise
€ Use a harsh tone
€ Be abrupt - spring things on him
€ Undermine his wishes
€ Condescend
€ Criticize his personality
€ Disrespect his work
€ Show little or no interest in his interests
Criticize his family
€ Interpret, psychoanalyze, or diagnose him
€ Make comparisons to other men
€ Focus on your unhappiness
€ Put friends before him
€ Value others' needs over his
€ Rob him of the opportunity to help

The majority of lovers crash into each other's vulnerabilities accidentally.But in the case of verbal abuse, intentional abusers seem to know
intuitively where the jugular is. A verbally abusive man is likely to makehis wife feel afraid of harm, isolation, or deprivation. A verbally abusivewoman is likely to make her husband feel like a failure as a provider,protector, lover, or parent.
But lovers also know intuitively how to help and support one another. Theprimary regulators of both fear and shame are support and connection. Thatis what people provide for each other during courtship that makes them fallin love. It is what they must provide in marriage to keep the fear-shamedynamic from destroying it.
Here's the link for more Stosny wisdom:

I sure hope that most of these things we do is uninttentional, but it is good to become more cognizant. I love!

Pause for Meno!

Good morning everyone! It is amazing what a good night sleep will do and what a bad nights sleep will do. Especially when menopause is swirling about! So off to another blood test. Never ends!! I think menopause really affects so much and I'll be so glad to be through with it. I find myself very teary at times, and not getting good rem sleep.
But to be through it means a few more years older, yikes, seems like a double bind to me. But in the mean time just try to get through it!! Off for another test!

Sunday, March 8, 2009


Here is the meme Lara gave to me:

"Deni is like"
1. 140 years old.

2. Laura the younger.

3. A fantastic weekend.

4. Is one of the nicest girls I've met.

5. Sings like a star.

6. Is so sweet and cute.

That was all that was there on google. So if you want to do this, just put in "(your name) is like" and see what it pops up! very interesting1

Thursday, March 5, 2009


I Love my favorite grandson #3! His name is Daxton Lee Preston! He holds a very very special place in my heart, in our entire family's heart! Last Saturday he was kicked by a horse, (his favorite animal) in the stomach area. He was taken to Primary Children's Hospital and has been there all week. His sweet attitude and loving nature was evident through all of this. We saw him on saturday and was so grateful he was doing as well as that. We do know he is having some sort of surgery to relieve fluid in his stomach. My heart hurts for him, as I am sure everyone feels at this time.
Our prayers go out to you, baby, and know just how much we love you. What a blessing you have been in our lives along with all of our grandchildren!
Your name is also on the Temple rolls. Please get better quick! We love you so so much.
Love forever and a day!
Gramma Deni and Papa Mike

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Looking inside thoughts.

I thought I would write a new post examining a little bit closer "depression". And I'm not talking about clinical depression. Just normal everyday negative thinking that takes over about 7/8ths of ones thinking! Here are signs of one who is depressed: You may want to ask yourself is this me?

They have poor self esteem
They are depressed, nothing is right.
Negative thinking

Now just a few insights that may help us understand a little better what it is individuals do to show this.

Manipulation, they get their power over others by creating contention.
They make other people anxious, and those people will cater to them. Make them more comfortable because they are miserable to be around if you don't make them comfortable.
If there is a hole in the line, the depressed person will attack it.
Has a wonderful way to get others to feel guilty.
Very critical, so much so, that when doing this again, anxiousness comes up and we play into their hands.
Underlying issues is insecurity. They have a fear of getting "in trouble"
Always looking for the fight. Kind of like an apostate of the church, those who want nothing to do with the church but won't leave it alone.
Always trying to prove they are right and they are okay. But at the expense of others around them. Always has others in a tizzy fit (anxious).
Tries to control everybody.
They divide people. (sad)
Everything has to be perfect. (which indeed can not be.)
Very catty with people.
Being in the in crowd to be cool.
At least in their perception of what is cool.
Acts in goofy ways, that is foreign to the rest of us!
If anything goes wrong, they are the first to say, "Wasn't me, I didn't do it!"
Rallying all those around them to get them to support them in their wrong doings, to try to get whomever they are attacking to change. Therein lies manipulation as well.
Underneath they worry about when the roof is going to cave in and what's going to come of this. This is what immature manipulative people really are doing in their minds.
Insecurity is the underlying problem and insecure people set things up so everything is comfortable only to them. Leaves everyone else powerless.
Cuts others off "all of the time".

What are we supposed to do with persons such as these?
Well, first, Right is right and wrong is wrong. Soooo stand up.

Ask yourself "What is their problem?"

The real "secret" is you know you are deciding where you stand, your confident, you are following common sense, doing what you should be doing! It is as simple as that.

You take charge. Walk away from them, they are out of control. Wait until they are ready.

Do you know anyone like this? I do. And they are simply insecure,immature and manipulate all around them, and it is plain to the observer.

(Again, if you see yourself here, then don't get upset with me, get upset with yourself, isn't it about time to help yourself be better?)

This is a test!

While life is meant to test, challenge, and strengthen us, if we are attempting to negotiate the twists and turns and ups and downs of mortality alone, we're doing it all wrong. Mortality is a test, but it is an open-book test. We have access not only to the divine text but to Him who authored it! Sheri Dew

Please give us the strength to always recognize this so we can keep things in perspective. Too often the grudges of others, the difficulty of the road or the weaknesses of ourselves get in our way!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Something to think about!

Okay here is a thought that you all can chew on! In Institute class a while back, my instructor made a wonderful insight that I have to totally agree with, and it had to do with Jacob 2. First of all, Jacob is speaking about how the men of the time were very naughty and the women and children had to listen to him speak with their very sensitive hearts and minds. And how hard it had to be to hear Jacob being so blunt. And, I totally agree with this, however, Bro. so and so said to the class, you women need to understand one thing, that if you want to be treated tenderly, and chastely you MUST behave that way. So it is a two way street!! Quitte frankly I am weary of hearing some women say I will NOT allow myself to be disrespected, etc etc. And I think that maybe they ought to look at it from another's point of view instead of so self-absorbed. Because many women these days are behaving very poorly and with the sense of entitlement and men are the ones ending up more abused.

Think about it.

(disclosure, if you are offended by my thoughts, I would ask you kindly not to come here!)

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Quite the news!

On my birthday, Dec 30th, 2008 my family was dancing around and singing, just playing around all night and it was a gas! But in the middle ofi t, I opened a letter I received from Women's conference, Sandra Rogers to be exact. I thought it might be letting us women know of the upcoming women's conference for those of us who teach at BYU! But to my jaw dropping amazement, it was not, it was an invitation to speak with another sister! It was pretty awesome to think that one so ordinary had been asked to speak. The subject is "My body is a Temple Heavenly Father gave to me!" Okay, so that shouldn't be too bad. So tonight I went to the orientation meeting where we heard from one of the General R.S. Counelors and Elder Samuelson and Sis. Rogers. It was so inspiring! They assured of us of being suggested, prayed over and approved by the Board of Trustees. You know who that is! Well, anyhow, that that shouldn't make us nervous. Yeah! It's true, it shouldn't. But the theme is "Find Strength in the Lord!" I truly felt the spirit bear witness to me that this theme was so important right now, when everything is falling apart around us in the economy and elsewhere. We just need to find strength. And it has been the theme I have had in my prayers for some time. To ask the Lord to strengthen me in the difficulties to come my way. Whether it be from others, or circumstances, or outside influences!
Just ask for strength to endure. This was the main message tonight. It is funny how so many think life isn't mean't to be endured, I've run across many students who feel this way and find myself thinking, well, they haven't experienced enough life that they will find that sometimes that is all you CAN do and you need the Savior to help you.
So it is going to be good for me. To remind me of what really is important as I go through day to day things! That we can't do it alone and we aren't alone, but we have Him to stand beside us to lift and strengthen us. And truly, there is NO OTHER WAY!

Well, I'll let you know how it goes, yikes!
Wish me luck, oh I mean, rely on the Lord.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Tis better to be polite and kind.

Wow, I happened upon a website that explains cyberbullying and found it quite informative. It has definitions and ways to help. Plus it has ways to stop it on websites such as myspace and facebook, xango and others. I was interested in how they pointed out libelous behavior, which means to write things about others that is demeaning, badmouthing, false, to ruin a persons reputation! I was very glad to see that, as can see how this happens. Another word that pops into my mind is slander. Saying things to others that puts another person in a bad light. I suppose that could mean gossip as well. But slander ruins a persons reputation. My feeling is educate yourself, then practice kind, polite and tactful ways to treat others so this isn't a problem. Maybe the best word is civility. It seems to be going out of style. In London I was amazed at how most folks were very respectful of one another. I suspect our media in TV and Movies have taught the notion that it is okay to be disrespectful because it is funny. And we have accepted it. Guess it's time to take a look at this, huh?

Oh here is the website:

Friday, January 23, 2009

I wish You Enough!

This is a story I read this week that made me smile! It brings things into a persepective in which we need, since the current feelings of entitlement are so pervalent.
"At an airport, I overhead a father and daughter in their last moments together. her plane's departure had been announced and standing near the door, the father said, "I Love You, I wish you enough."

She said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed goodbye and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?"

"Yes, I have", I replied. Saying that brought back memories of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he mean't tome. I knew what this man was experiencing.

"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?" I asked. "I am old, and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead, and the reality is, her next trip will be for my funeral." he said. "When you were saying goodbye, I heard you say, I wish you enough. May I ask what that means?"

He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down for generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment, and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail he smiled even more.

"When we said I wish you enough, we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them," he continued, and then turning toward me, he shared the following:

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess."

The older I get the more reflective I become, the happier I get at the little things that mean so much, and the sadder I get at the selfishness and hardheartedness of others.
So my dear ones, I wish you enough too!! Make sure you are not one of thoses who has the ongoing sense of entitlement. Love more, be forgiving more, and understand more. Work at not taking things personally, and never assume anything, always do you best, and be clear with your words.

I wish you enough!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Listen up, people!

Did you, by chance, listen to Elder Holland's talk this week at the BYU devotional??? Well, take a hop, skip and a jump over to BYUTV and stream it. The subject was "Lot's Wife" and it was given on Tuesday, Jan 13th, 2009. It will be well worth your time to listen, and I mean listen! Mike and I listened to it at least 10 times today! There was a moment there, that his countenance changed and his voice got very firm, almost angry, and he almost shouted to the listeners "Let the people repent!" Quit holding people hostage to the past! Let them use the atonement. That we shouldn't get our pail and shovels out and keep digging the past up!! Much to our chagrin this is one of those things we have witnessed in our own lives, but we much "let those people repent as well". So it works both ways. I Love the gospel of Jesus Christ! It will be the only thing that will keep us straight if we allow it to.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Create-ing! I have been thinking alot about this New Year and the reso
lutions we all make! A simple one-word thought that I can focus on is "Create-ing"!

Create health: through eating right, yoga, pilates, powertone, and water.
Create love: sharing uplifting conversations,calling friends, family, compliments.
Create knowledge: Reading good books, studying world events, listening to good things.
Create spirituality: Reading scriptures, going to church, serving, a Love of God.

The world has lost "peace" overall, and we must create it by living and doing. So for me, this is my goal to be diligent and to be steady in these four areas.
Love to all.