Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Epiphany!

Yesterday was quite a day, that's all I can say! Well, it is still raining and I'm off to teach classes but before I go teach and put away blogging for another long time I thought I would share the thoughts that came to me last night.

What started with some discouragement within myself and writing down a few thoughts about it, that turned into a very nasty, negative comment from someone out of the blue, and who knows who they were, I just know it was someone I didn't even know, to a day spent in starting to look into what I needed to speak on for Women's conference when it hit me like a ton of bricks!

I was talking to Mike about this discouragement that hit me the day before yesterday from no where (usually I'm pretty happy and upbeat!) and I thought maybe it was more menopausal issues, (which does play a part, believe me) but I realized the adversary was really hard at work on me, using one of my weak areas (discouragement! Cant get me in drinking, drugs, smoking, gambling, immorality, etc etc) (but boy he can hit me the area of discouragment at times!) Then I told him that that same adversary was busy at work using people to get to me. People who apparently are facing their own problems and used me as a target to get out their anger. I felt very sorry for them. But I realized that he was laughing at the whole thing! Because there is nothing more that makes him happy than to create divisiveness amongst the Saints, or our brothers and sisters. All of us are very guilty of being divisive at times. Intentional and unintentional. But now, that I have sufficiently put my finger on what is really going on, I can continue to go forward to get this new assignment going, as Elder Samuelson said, there are women coming from all over the world who are needing their prayers answered. Who need us to have the Spirit so we can answer those prayers. All I can say is there was a reason for me to experience this slamming discouragement of my own (who by the way was noone else's but my own, no one was responsible) and then someone else's stuff it just woke me up to the reality of this assignment and it's importance. Boy am I "Out to Lunch!" I do know who I am, I do know I am a divine daughter of God who is trying to be diligent in living right. But sometimes fails, but I believe that is what the Atonement is for! Hopefully I'll remember earlier next time, yeah right, never happens that way, but at least I'll keep telling myself it can!

All I can say is I am so grateful to Father in heaven for this experience to give me strength, and to give me resolve to continue on in the path I am in. Must be right, if I'm receiving opposition!!

Love to all!

5 comments:

clan of the cave hair said...

Its difficult for me to imagine a nasty comment being sent your way, but as you say, you must be on the right path if you are receiving opposition. I forgot to thank you for your kind comment yesterday. I really do appreciate it. I hope your preparations for your address continue without further opposition. I'll be looking forward to hearing what the spirit prompts you to say.--Lisa

Emily said...

I can definitely relate to feeling discouraged. You're so wonderful--you don't need to waste your time being discouraged. Be good to yourself.

It was fun to see you on Friday! Love ya!!!! :)

Lara said...

Discouragement is my biggest weakness (maybe I inherited that from you? Just kidding.) and I am certainly feeling it a lot lately.

Hang in there! Women's conference is going to be awesome!

Rachel said...

Thank you for sharing. I really needed to read that today. Your are a great person and again thank you for sharing.

jennie said...

Deni - I "accidentally" discovered your show on BYU (I really think God led me there!). I cannot tell you how positive you make me feel about myself and others. You are truly a blessing. I am amazed how much I have achieved in Yoga since March. Thank you for who you are! I really appreciate it!