Sunday, March 1, 2009

Looking inside thoughts.

I thought I would write a new post examining a little bit closer "depression". And I'm not talking about clinical depression. Just normal everyday negative thinking that takes over about 7/8ths of ones thinking! Here are signs of one who is depressed: You may want to ask yourself is this me?

They have poor self esteem
They are depressed, nothing is right.
Negative thinking

Now just a few insights that may help us understand a little better what it is individuals do to show this.

Manipulation, they get their power over others by creating contention.
They make other people anxious, and those people will cater to them. Make them more comfortable because they are miserable to be around if you don't make them comfortable.
If there is a hole in the line, the depressed person will attack it.
Has a wonderful way to get others to feel guilty.
Very critical, so much so, that when doing this again, anxiousness comes up and we play into their hands.
Underlying issues is insecurity. They have a fear of getting "in trouble"
Always looking for the fight. Kind of like an apostate of the church, those who want nothing to do with the church but won't leave it alone.
Always trying to prove they are right and they are okay. But at the expense of others around them. Always has others in a tizzy fit (anxious).
Tries to control everybody.
They divide people. (sad)
Everything has to be perfect. (which indeed can not be.)
Very catty with people.
Being in the in crowd to be cool.
At least in their perception of what is cool.
Acts in goofy ways, that is foreign to the rest of us!
If anything goes wrong, they are the first to say, "Wasn't me, I didn't do it!"
Rallying all those around them to get them to support them in their wrong doings, to try to get whomever they are attacking to change. Therein lies manipulation as well.
Underneath they worry about when the roof is going to cave in and what's going to come of this. This is what immature manipulative people really are doing in their minds.
Insecurity is the underlying problem and insecure people set things up so everything is comfortable only to them. Leaves everyone else powerless.
Cuts others off "all of the time".

What are we supposed to do with persons such as these?
Well, first, Right is right and wrong is wrong. Soooo stand up.

Ask yourself "What is their problem?"

The real "secret" is you know you are deciding where you stand, your confident, you are following common sense, doing what you should be doing! It is as simple as that.

You take charge. Walk away from them, they are out of control. Wait until they are ready.

Do you know anyone like this? I do. And they are simply insecure,immature and manipulate all around them, and it is plain to the observer.

(Again, if you see yourself here, then don't get upset with me, get upset with yourself, isn't it about time to help yourself be better?)


Anne-Marie said...

I have someone in my life that fills several of those characteristics. Unfortunately, when I did stand up for myself and ask not to be abused anymore, they just keep fanning the flames.

I hope I am never like that to anyone else in my life. It's no fun to be around.

clan of the cave hair said...

Once upon a time, I was not only this person, but part of a duo of people who acted in these ways. According to him it was my fault he acted the way he did, according to me it was his fault I acted the way I did. Then one day I realized that the old cliche was actually true. The only way this was going to stop was if I stopped it. When I stopped participating, it took all the wind out of his sails. He could huff and puff all he wanted, but he could no longer knock me down. I didn't behave the way I did because of him, I behaved he way I did because of me. When my choices improved, my life improved. It was a terribly difficult lesson to learn, one that took me probably 10 years too long to learn, but once learned my quality of life has grown tremendously, and I can now truthfully claim to live a joyful life.

queendeni said...

I so appreciate your insights! You are wonderful!

Lara said...

It is no fun to be around, and if we can't stop their behavior, the best we can do is learn from it and hope that we will never act that way ourselves.

Unfortunately, we all have people in our lives that act this way. I feel more sorry for them than I do the people they mistreat.

Maryann said...

Wow! What a miserable way to live your life always anxious. I have people I know that behave this way. I try to stay away from getting into an argument with them. I hope that when someone is like this they will eventually will be able to see the truth about themselves before it is too late. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!