Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Questions?????

I'm down to the wire girls! And I'm thinking I might want some input from you all! If you went to conference searching for answers concerning, "My Body is a Temple, my Heavenly Father gave to me". What would be some of your heartfelt needs?

I love you!!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Lalakme.blogspot.com

WOW! I think Spring just might be here and we can come out of hibernation! The blossoms are gorgeous and the birds are singing! Woo Hoo!! Spring has such wonderful memories for me, the smells, the way the sun hits on the earth spring axis and just the fact it brings feelings of getting out and doing things!! You know the Spring cleaning feeling!! I just love it!

Well, go to my daughters blog, she is celebrating a birthday of her blog by giving away a darling apron she had made. Here is her link, lalakme.blogspot.com! By merely commenting you will be entered into a drawing for it. It is amazing how far blogging has come in such a short time and her experiences with it have been wonderful! I have to agree with her that blogging brings a person joy to be able to write down thoughts and feelings that are foremost on the mind, to look back at later and realize how far you've come or what you had been facing at one time. It really does take on the face of a journal in many ways.

My blogging has been mostly my fitness blog/website that has been just a wonderful experience with the encouragement of Lara and the expertise of my son, Nate!! I have spent most of my time investing in it. It's new face will be called deniprestonfitness.com! All articles will be moved over from denipreston.com this week, and we will update it.

This blog is a side blog with just some thoughts and feelings of more of a personal nature, or insights of what I'm learning in a personal way. It does feel really good to be able to write down these thoughts, it is very cathartic. One person's blog is not that important to others, but it is to the person writing it. I can honestly say that the few, and mean very few, who do read this and have left wonderful uplifting comments, well, thank you for coming to my little part of the blogging world and, understanding what I'm trying to say! I can totally understand how Lara feels about her blog, her own part of her world that she lives everyday and is trying to make sense of. Just as we all are trying to make sense of this life and it's experiences and how it fits into the plan!

Go and have a great day and know you are of great worth, no matter how small of a contribution you feel you are giving!!

P.S. Get better my darling granddaughter, Chloe!!! I love you, baby!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Deniprestonfitness.com

Oh, Oh, Oh!! I keep forgetting to tell all of you who google my name! Denipreston.com has been dissolved due to some gliche in the system, it is currently under reconstruction, to be named deniprestonfitness.com!!
So in just a few days or a week we will be up online again!

Thanks so much for your patience!

Epiphany!

Yesterday was quite a day, that's all I can say! Well, it is still raining and I'm off to teach classes but before I go teach and put away blogging for another long time I thought I would share the thoughts that came to me last night.

What started with some discouragement within myself and writing down a few thoughts about it, that turned into a very nasty, negative comment from someone out of the blue, and who knows who they were, I just know it was someone I didn't even know, to a day spent in starting to look into what I needed to speak on for Women's conference when it hit me like a ton of bricks!

I was talking to Mike about this discouragement that hit me the day before yesterday from no where (usually I'm pretty happy and upbeat!) and I thought maybe it was more menopausal issues, (which does play a part, believe me) but I realized the adversary was really hard at work on me, using one of my weak areas (discouragement! Cant get me in drinking, drugs, smoking, gambling, immorality, etc etc) (but boy he can hit me the area of discouragment at times!) Then I told him that that same adversary was busy at work using people to get to me. People who apparently are facing their own problems and used me as a target to get out their anger. I felt very sorry for them. But I realized that he was laughing at the whole thing! Because there is nothing more that makes him happy than to create divisiveness amongst the Saints, or our brothers and sisters. All of us are very guilty of being divisive at times. Intentional and unintentional. But now, that I have sufficiently put my finger on what is really going on, I can continue to go forward to get this new assignment going, as Elder Samuelson said, there are women coming from all over the world who are needing their prayers answered. Who need us to have the Spirit so we can answer those prayers. All I can say is there was a reason for me to experience this slamming discouragement of my own (who by the way was noone else's but my own, no one was responsible) and then someone else's stuff it just woke me up to the reality of this assignment and it's importance. Boy am I "Out to Lunch!" I do know who I am, I do know I am a divine daughter of God who is trying to be diligent in living right. But sometimes fails, but I believe that is what the Atonement is for! Hopefully I'll remember earlier next time, yeah right, never happens that way, but at least I'll keep telling myself it can!

All I can say is I am so grateful to Father in heaven for this experience to give me strength, and to give me resolve to continue on in the path I am in. Must be right, if I'm receiving opposition!!

Love to all!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Lone Survivor!

Okay, my very small following who are my friends! I'm writing blog after blog because it is a dreary, cold day and I don't have to teach a million classes today! I probably should set these posts for every day, like Lara does, but I don't know how, and I don't know when I'll return anyway, I'm just so sporadic! But I have a lot on my mind today and much to share. I don't have any kids at home to laugh at or post pictures, I don't have many experiences with funny things that they say either, although there was a day that did occur all the time, and how I wish we had something like this to record it because it is so much easier than writing things down, besides I was sporadic at that as well, and I'm sure I will go down to you know where not doing that as I should! But I do have reflective thoughts that I like to write down now and then. And since a blog is for writing down, thoughts, views, insights, sadnesses, happinesses, reflections and such which is what we women find comfort in at times, this is a cool place to do it. Knowing my words are not that important to anyone, but very helpful to me. I like how Mommy blogs are generally so kind and uplifting in comments, especially to anyone who needs a little extra umph for that day. So I really love to read your comments and insights into the thought of the day. It brings great joy. I think I've run into only a couple of very negative comments, and well, I just delete them when they are non -constuctive or mean-spirited, although looking into blogging ettiquette, I'll just leave them next time, oops.

So inasmuch as I took an ADD turn and got distracted, here is what I was really thinking about:
I just got done reading this wonderful book called "Lone Survivor" by Marcus Luttrell and it is a "can't put down book". He is the one Navy Seal that survived Operation Redwing in Afganistan in 2005 where an entire helicopter was shot down trying to save the four seals on the ground. Needless to say, Marcus was the only one who made it out, and has quite a story to tell. He tells his story from the enlistment in the Navy, to Bootcamp, to INOC, to SEAL training and IT IS fascinating. (by the way, my nephew is a SEAL). After all the training they are called up to go to Afganistan to try to get one of the main AL QUEDA/TALIBAN leaders. In it you learn of the hatred for Americans they have and follow Marcus and his team through the mission. I won't ruin it for you, but the hand of the Lord is in his survival as he always seems to have his rifle right next to him as he falls off cliffs, precipices and such, which are many!! And in his protection, escape, and rescue! What I came away with is a deepened love for our country, the Navy and the Seals! Thank you so much for what you seem to be born to do to keep us a free country. GO SEALS!

Fear-shame dynamic, super interesting read!

- 50 WAYS TO CAUSE FEAR AND SHAME - STOSNY
This one is so good that I'll include the whole thing. And, yes, you havefive different opportunities to study with Steven Stosny at the OrlandoSmart Marriages conference - you'll see his *Marriage An Inside Job* keynotewith Pat Love, can attend three 90-min workshops, and spend two intensivedays with him where he'll train and certify you as a CompassionPower BootCamp Instructor - teach you how to help couples stop the Fear/Shame cycle.http://www.smartmarriages.com/stosny.html - diane


Marriage Problems: 50 Ways to Cause Fear and ShameBy Steven Stosny on April 13, 2009 - 11:11am in Anger in the Age ofEntitlement
I've posted before - and with Pat Love have written a book about - theancient fear-shame dynamic that secretly undermines intimate relationships.To briefly recapitulate, usually subtle (but sometimes obvious) anxiety orfear in one partner triggers shame-avoidant behavior (withdrawal or anger)in the other, and vice versa.
Near the end of our three-day boot camps for highly distressed couples, Iask the men to list all the ways they are likely to make their partneranxious or afraid without meaning to and the women to list all the ways theyare likely to stimulate shame in their partners with no intention to do so.Amazingly, the more than 600 participants have come up with lists very closeto what Pat and I first brainstormed when we were discussing the book. (Wehave to admit that our prescience came after years of looking in all thewrong places - childhood wounds, communication patterns, etc. - for whycouples have such a hard time connecting even when they do everythingright.)

25 ways to make a woman anxious
€ Ignore her
€ Tell her what to do
€ Be short with your answers
€ Tune out her feelings
€ Stonewall or give her the cold shoulder
€ Take her for granted€ Limit or criticize her spending
€ Tell her to stop worrying
€ Tell her she's making too much of it
€ Tell her to get over it
€ Tell her she talks too much
€ Complain about her weight
€ Criticize her family
€ Withdraw or shut down
€ Yell or get angry
€ Pout or sulk
€ Threaten to quit your job
€ Flirt with other women
€ Don't know her dreams
€ Tell her she's just like her mother
€ Complain about her girlfriends
€ Give her the cold shoulder
€ Dismiss her ideas
€ Sound like you're trapped in the marriage
€ Buy a sports car


25 ways to stimulate shame in a man
€ Exclude him from important decisions
€ Correct what he says
€ Question his judgment
€ Give unsolicited advice
€ Dismiss his opinion
€ Imply inadequacy
€ Make unrealistic demands of his time and energy
€ Overreact
€ Ignore his desires
€ Focus on what you didn't get, rather than what you got
€ Withhold praise
€ Use a harsh tone
€ Be abrupt - spring things on him
€ Undermine his wishes
€ Condescend
€ Criticize his personality
€ Disrespect his work
€ Show little or no interest in his interests
Criticize his family
€ Interpret, psychoanalyze, or diagnose him
€ Make comparisons to other men
€ Focus on your unhappiness
€ Put friends before him
€ Value others' needs over his
€ Rob him of the opportunity to help

The majority of lovers crash into each other's vulnerabilities accidentally.But in the case of verbal abuse, intentional abusers seem to know
intuitively where the jugular is. A verbally abusive man is likely to makehis wife feel afraid of harm, isolation, or deprivation. A verbally abusivewoman is likely to make her husband feel like a failure as a provider,protector, lover, or parent.
But lovers also know intuitively how to help and support one another. Theprimary regulators of both fear and shame are support and connection. Thatis what people provide for each other during courtship that makes them fallin love. It is what they must provide in marriage to keep the fear-shamedynamic from destroying it.
Here's the link for more Stosny wisdom:http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200904/marriage-problems-50-ways-cause-fear-and-shame
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I sure hope that most of these things we do is uninttentional, but it is good to become more cognizant. I love smartmarriages.com!

Pause for Meno!

Good morning everyone! It is amazing what a good night sleep will do and what a bad nights sleep will do. Especially when menopause is swirling about! So off to another blood test. Never ends!! I think menopause really affects so much and I'll be so glad to be through with it. I find myself very teary at times, and not getting good rem sleep.
But to be through it means a few more years older, yikes, seems like a double bind to me. But in the mean time just try to get through it!! Off for another test!